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Aug. 6th, 2008 05:40 pmTwo weeks since my last post; the novelty is wearing off. I've made two postworthy discoveries about myself in that time.
First, what I'm doing with my life (at this moment). I'm learning to live without a long-term plan. A relationship enforces participation in certain plans -- marriage, mortgage, child rearing, etc. I'm no longer in a relationship, but my plan *could* be to find a new relationship, mortgage, sex-life, etc. I'm scared to make a plan, because when I set plans and expectations for myself I usually discover what I actually want/get is the opposite. If I can avoid preconceptions, I'm free to make the right choice the first time. I hope. Anyhow, I won't be embarrassed to discover that my confident self-analysis was completely wrong. (I wonder if AA remembers my assuring him that I couldn't possibly be gay?)
Second, which things just sound great and which really are. Lord Valentine's Castle made juggling sound really great. I quickly learned that juggling wasn't the thing for me. Taran Wanderer made wheel throwing (pottery) sound really great. It's taken nearly 30 years to discover that wheel throwing is not my True Calling. Some people I know like yoga. Trying it, I find that yoga is really great!
First, what I'm doing with my life (at this moment). I'm learning to live without a long-term plan. A relationship enforces participation in certain plans -- marriage, mortgage, child rearing, etc. I'm no longer in a relationship, but my plan *could* be to find a new relationship, mortgage, sex-life, etc. I'm scared to make a plan, because when I set plans and expectations for myself I usually discover what I actually want/get is the opposite. If I can avoid preconceptions, I'm free to make the right choice the first time. I hope. Anyhow, I won't be embarrassed to discover that my confident self-analysis was completely wrong. (I wonder if AA remembers my assuring him that I couldn't possibly be gay?)
Second, which things just sound great and which really are. Lord Valentine's Castle made juggling sound really great. I quickly learned that juggling wasn't the thing for me. Taran Wanderer made wheel throwing (pottery) sound really great. It's taken nearly 30 years to discover that wheel throwing is not my True Calling. Some people I know like yoga. Trying it, I find that yoga is really great!
